Last night, about 1am, awake with the daughter-that-never-sleeps, I was explaining to my 11 month old daughter that some species eat their young. She didn’t care, and keep fidgeting and staring at me. But I got to thinking.
Which you would rather be eaten by? Alien or Human?
At first I thought Alien, because after all, being eaten by an alien would at least answer that big ass question of “are there aliens”. I also thought that they also would have pretty good kill-and-cook technology, so it would be fast and painless. But of course, then I realized maybe they would cook me alive to keep me juicy. Or maybe if I died from fear I would taste that much better?
So then I went to human. But… The same basic rules apply. They could throw me in a lukewarm bath/cauldron that is over a really big fire, or they could kill me quick.
I just couldn’t decide, because they both could be polite about it, or just plain rude, all the same. The human cannibal would do it with pointy sticks and in a sweaty jungle, the aliens would do it with lasers and metal, in a space ship.
Space ship trumps sweaty rainforest. At least I will have gotten to see the inside of a space ship, and would know aliens exist for a little bit.
Alien cannibal wins.
