RESPIRATE!

Of course the video is an april fools joke. BUT… the 8-bit google maps is actually real. AWESOMESAUCE.

go to http://maps.google.com/
click the “quest” button in the upper right corner.
you can drag a little warrior to the map, which puts you in 8bit street view.

This is a car by my house.

All the reasons to buy the new iPad, neatly smashed into a Funny or Die video.

Watch it. It will be the coolest thing you watch today.

It a video of the ride to space and then back down on the space shuttle boosters. It’s about 8 minutes long and worth the watch. You get a real feel for the speeds and craziness of the whole thing. What makes it extra cool is the sound. Real sound.

via Bad Astronomy

Though frankly that description would be way better than the turd that is Rubber Dumbers. I think Ashley is trying to drive us insane. She used to watch this show, 1.5 years ago. I thought it was gone for good. Wrong.

Brave little bastard. Taking the bread right from my hand with a camera in its face.

Searching the Google for answers to questions often delivers up results that baffle me. I was searching for something related to farts (had to do with my kid and if I could power my house with her toots) and this came up. “PartOut” LOL. There is seriously a product for everything. After all, you can’t be master of your world if you can’t force the sun to shine where the sun don’t shine.

I don’t care if you have a full time job and are only moonlighting, I just need to know that so I know your availability and can plan for that. If you are a full time freelancer, great. Rates and project fees don’t change at all, one way or the other. I just want predictable, capable, talented freelance graphic designers that I can call upon when the right project comes along that would suit them.

In case you’re wondering who the hell I am and why BrainDonkey would need graphic designers, good question… I don’t. My wife’s company, Yeager North does. I am a partner, but have moved my primary focus onto new ventures. I am still involved and manage all the web related projects. Recent events, with 2 new freelancers, have completely pissed me off and gotten me to the point of wondering if maybe the recession is because no one actually WANTS to work.

I have work. High end, mid end, cool and pedestrian. I don’t nickel and dime. I don’t argue rates. I don’t even care what your hourly is. Though, if you are fairly efficient, responsive, and high quality, you could expect to make about 60/hour. Our biggest issue is deadlines. If you cannot meet a sudden, short deadline, I don’t want to hear from you.

If you think you fit the bill, please send a portfolio to dave@braindonkey.com.

Thanks.

Behold hipster Ashley. Wearing her butterfly wife-beater.

Target is fun.

First cluster at 8am is getting ready and going to school, then running around like a ninny  and structured play time until 9 at which point they did some learning related activity.

The 10am cluster was “light play” with a small gap for a story.

Next we have free-play time until lunch, followed by nap (she doesn’t nap anymore, but colors quietly at the table), reading, writing, etc. So, she does actually sit still… I never would have guessed.

3pm was some kind of active learning activity, so moderate moving and such.

A little before 4:30 they went outside… And the running starts. The teacher checked the fitbit to see what the step count was before they went out, and the count was 2800. When my wife picked her up about an hour later at 5:45, the count was at 10500. Um, thats 7700 steps in a little over an hour. 2.1 steps per second… Let me say that again.
2.1 steps PER SECOND.

The final tally for the day was around 12000. If she had been outside twice, like they normally do, she would have racked up probably 20000 steps in the day.

On top of the huge number during play time, the teacher was watching to see how she played compared to the other kids. Actually a few teachers were paying attention because they were all intrigued by the whole thing.

The verdict is this. Ashley NEVER stops. She starts playing with a group of kids, and when they poop out, she moves on to the next group, making the rounds, until she gets to the “end of the line”. But then, she just starts at the first group again. All the kids at some point go over to the “rest area” which is a picnic table with the teachers, but not Ashley. Ever.

I did do some testing to see if it’s accurate with her, which it is. Unfathomable, 2.1 steps per second. Try it. You cant do it. She can, you can’t without just running in place.

Also, on Sunday, we went to the playground with Ashley. I put the FitBit on her for 21 minutes, just for fun again. Guess how many steps? 1261. She’s slackin. I know why though. She kept coming over to mommy and me to get instructions on what route to take through the jungle gym. She was pretending to be Agent P (Perry from Phineas and Ferb).

So, Dr Worry Wart? EAT ME. My kid is fine. F OFF. (though we are going to get a few blood tests done to make sure anyway. But no worries.)

Interested in the Fitbit, check it out at fitbit.com